The 10 Commandments of Dorm Sharing

You might have climbed Kilimanjaro, rubbed shoulders with African tribesmen, or even meditated with Thai monks…but have you mastered the rules of dorm-sharing? Follow these 10 commandments to make sure you don’t trample on your fellow backpackers’ toes. 

1. Thou shalt not storm into the dorm room in the early hours of the morning screaming drunken chants. 

It’s great that you’ve had a good night and all, but some of us may be trying to sleep.

 

2. As banging as thy bod may be, thou shalt not parade around the dorm in your flimsy lingerie or tighty whiteys.  

Sure, you’ve worked all year to get a body you’re proud of and you want to show it off. But trust me. A dorm room packed full of 15+ horny strangers is not the place.

 

3. Whilst thou may have been crowned a “massive lad” in your land back home, thou must try one’s best not to “bang” fellow backpackers in the dormitory. 

No one wants to wake up at 3.00am to the sound of you climaxing. Thou shalt be respectful and find some other suitable space to do thy dirty work.

 

4. If thou has to catch an early morning flight/bus/camel, thou will ensure that thy bag is packed the night before.

Any irritating plastic bag rustling will not be tolerated early in the morning.

 

5. Thou will smile at, acknowledge and be friendly to thy fellow dormitory inhabitants.

As the ancient proverb states: kindness costs nothing. And no-one likes a miserable sod.

 

6. Thou will accept thy fellow backpackers space and that sometimes people just don’t want to chat.

If after asking the usual “where ya bin/where ya from/where ya goin” questions your new roomie seems pretty keen to quit the convo, then just leave them alone. Sometimes backpackers just want to chill.

7. Thou must not leave your sh*t all over the dorm room. Thou is not a slob, thou is a backpacker.

Keep thyself and thy stuff together, man.

8. Thou will clean up after thyself. ‘Tis not thy mummies house. 

As above.

9. Thou must not pinch other backpackers stuff. It’s just plain nasty.

And if thou possess valuables of unimaginable greatness (namely an iPhone, Camera, food or anything remotely tempting), then thou must not leave them out in sight. Backpackers are mere mortals, after all.

10. Thou shalt be polite and friendly to the hostel staff, in particular the cleaners.

They have seen horrors beyond your wildest nightmares and bear the toughest burden in the hostel world.So be nice.

These are the 10 commandments for dorm sharing.

Now, go forth and travel.

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